Heroes vs Villains
by randompandattack
Summary: A rewrite of Total Drama All Stars with a few different characters, new teams, better challenges and less stupid (hopefully). Contains more emphasis on the "heroes vs villains" plot and lots of humor. Come find out which contestant is the true All-Star! Hiatus for now (sorry)
1. Episode 1 part 1

**A/N: Hey guys, I'm baaaaacck! Just kidding, but I do have a new story. So I don't know about you guys, but I've always thought All-Stars was the WORST season (along with Action). I've always hated it. So it seemed an ideal season to rewrite from top to bottom. My story doesn't just change 1 or 2 things, it changes _several_ things, big and small. Also I repeatedly make fun of how bad the original was, so if your a fan this might not be for you. My version will also have different pairings, but you won't see any of that right away. The rating is K-plus and it'll stay that way in order to reflect the actual show. This first episode was too long to leave as one chapter so I've split it into two. The second chapter is already written and should be up within 24 hours. **

**Heroes vs Villains**

 **Episode 1 Part 1**

It was a sunny morning on the recently cleaned up Camp Wawanakwa. Chris Mclean stood alone on the rickety dock as the show started, staring into the camera with an evil look in his eyes. "Welcome to Total Drama All-Stars!" He announced dramatically. "After my involuntary year long "vacation" I really need to be in a familiar environment surrounded by the people I love…to hurt." He chuckles at his own joke. "It's a condition of my parole. Except for the hurt part; that's all Mclean!"

He walks down the side of the dock. No one else is there; just him. "So I'm bringing back fourteen TD all-stars to battle it out in the most dangerous, death defying, one million dollar competition…ever!" The sound of a helicopter can be heard in the background. "And here they are now! From revenge of the island say hello to…"

A large green helicopter (probably military) is shown flying a good twenty to thirty feet above the lake. The door opens and Mike is shown standing on the edge. "Multiple Mike!" Chef's arm appears from behind and shoves Mike out of the helicopter. "AKA: Chester, Svetlana, Vito, and Manitoba!" As each new name is called, Mike's body spasms and changes into a different pose. A splash is heard signaling Mike hitting the water.

"Mikes crush turned powerhouse…Zoey!" The redheaded 'indie' girl comes into view standing right where Mike had been five seconds earlier.

"Oh no, Mike! I'm coming!" She cried out in concern before leaping into the water of her own free will.

"Athletic non-supporter Lightning!" The muscular, dark-skinned football player scoffs in apparent disdain at Zoey.

"You call that a dive? Watch this!" Lightning prepares to jump into the lake but is interrupted by Chef kicking him ungracefully out on his butt. The dive is ruined and the athlete hits the water hard on his back.

"Creepy nature-girl Dawn!" Chris announces next, but when the helicopter is shown, no one is there. After a few seconds pass, Chef comes into view and shrugs. "What the…?" The host scratches his head. "Where did she-"

"Hello Chris."

"Ahh!" Chris jumped three feet into the air when he heard Dawns' voice coming from a mere foot away. The ethereal blonde was standing behind him looking calm, with her arms held behind her back. Chris on the other hand, lost his footing entirely and feel into the lake.

He came out ten seconds later sputtering and soaked through his clothes. "Dawn!" he cried out angrily. Climbing onto the pier he tried to shake himself dry before pointing his index finger angrily at the girl. "Don't ever do that again!"

"My apologies," she answered serenely. "I merely found my own path to the island."

"Anyway," the host attempted to regain his composure. "Next up is our challenge-throwing dirt farmer Scott!" Scott is shown clinging desperately to Chef's leg as the larger man attempts to toss him out. "No! I don't want to be on this dumb show!" But Chef ignores him and merely shakes harder until finally Scott loses his grip and falls into the water below with a scream.

"Bossy bruiser Jo, who dominated until her underling turned on her."

The jockette stood on the very edge of the helicopter while Chef attempted to push her out, but she managed to throw him off before pointing a threatening finger at Chris. "You're a dead man Mclean!" But Chef tackles her from behind right after and she loses her footing. Jo screams briefly before falling into the lake with the others.

Chris chuckles at this; highly amused. "And last from our newer cast, military-geek Brick!"

Chef and Brick are shown standing on the helicopter. "Get off this helicopter right now soldier!" Chef whips his right arm outward and points toward the water. "That's an order!"

Brick salutes. "Sir, yes sir!" he leans back and falls off the edge appearing both stoic and graceful. However it's ruined two seconds after falling when he loses his composure and starts screaming.

Chris holds his sides in laughter. When he finally composes himself he wipes a tear from his eye. "And now, from our original cast it's cranky know-it-all CIT: Courtney!"

Chef held the spiteful girl upside down by her ankle. She swayed back and forth out of the helicopter. "This is not in my contract!" At the word 'contract', Chef drops her into the lake and turns away without a second thought.

"Along with her besty-turned-boyfriend-stealer Gwen!"

Gwen angrily punched and kicked Chef as the large man carried her on his shoulders. Hearing Chris' comment she briefly subsided. "Can we please get past that already?" Chef tossed her out like a sack of potatoes and, like Courtney, her last word turned into a scream.

"Brooding bad boy Duncan!"

Chef also threw the punk out of the helicopter, but he didn't fight back. In fact, he appeared unaffected overall and shrugged as he fell into the water. "Bring it on!" was all he said.

"Our queen bee turned anti-hero Heather!"

Chef tossed her as well. The mean girl's ponytail flapped in the wind as she angrily crossed her arms. "I hate you Chris!"

"Pathetic little nerdling, Cody!"

Chef had easily pushed the short brunette off the helicopter, however he clung to the edge with his fingers. "C-Chef! Have a heart, man!" But the dark-skinned man simply rolled his eyes before stomping down on the geek's fingers. "Oww!" Cody lost his grip and fell screaming into the drink below.

"The guy so handsome he makes even me feel uncomfortable…Alejandro!"

The Spanish teen leaned over the edge of the helicopter looking quite confident. "Why yes, I am very handsome. Thank you Chris." Chef then tried to push him off, but he easily sideswiped the man before leaping off the helicopter of his own accord and landing in the lake with a perfect swan dive.

Duncan, who was mere few feet away in the lake, coughed loudly into his hand. "…mary-sue…" A nearby Gwen smiled.

"Super-fan Sierra! Total Drama's number one stalker-I mean blogger!" Chris corrected himself, then paused. "Oh who am I kidding? Girl's a freak."

Chef was nowhere to be found as the purple-haired stalker (half of her hair had grown back) stood on the helicopter. "This one's for Cody!" she then leapt into her water and pulled her legs up before cannonballing into the lake. The impact of her landing caused a huge splash that the other teens either got caught up in, or swam away from as fast as they could.

"Oh man!" Chris laughed loudly. "It's great to be back!"

* * *

A few minutes later the host walked off the dock and down onto the beach where all fourteen contestants had washed up. Some had gotten to their feet and were merely trying to catch their breath while others were simply lying there on their backs or stomachs. The only exception was Alejandro, who was standing up straight and looked completely unfazed by the whole experience.

Chris grinned evilly as he stood over them. "Greetings old friends."

Heather coughed up a starfish. "You creep! I am NOT your friend!"

Alejandro walked over wearing an amused smile. "Sounds like someone's in a bad mood. Did you miss me, mi'amore?"

The dark-haired girl gagged. "Ugh you wish creep! Didn't that kick to your coconuts last season get it through your thick head?"

The Spanish teen's smile twitched. "I know you only did that to win the million. I understand, I would've done the same…"

Heather rolled her eyes. "Whatever you have to tell yourself. Hey, didn't you get horribly injured when your face met the volcano? Why aren't you horribly scarred?"

Alejandro did not answer her, instead he flashed her his bright shiny teeth and smiled. "Worry not, my handsome appearance is unharmed. I am just as beautiful as the day we met." Heather scoffed as this, but said nothing.

Meanwhile Zoey was helping Mike to his feet. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, thanks," he wiped some sand off his shirt. "So uhh…it's nice to see you again."

"Oh…yeah," Zoey pulled back her arm and awkwardly rubbed the back of her head. "It feels like forever. I…missed you."

 _*Confessional*_

Zoey: It turns out Mike and I don't live that close by, so we haven't been able to see each other since season four ended. We try to talk online and on the phone, but you'd be surprised how often one of his other personalities interrupts…"

 _*End Confessional*_

Courtney stood up and walked over to Chris looking angry. "You're going to pay for my dry cleaning."

"No I'm not," the host pulled out a large stack of papers. "New contract, remember?"

 _*Confessional*_

Courtney: Same old Chris, same old disgusting island. What was I thinking? A million dollars isn't worth this torture!

 _*End Confessional*_

Feeling as if he were on a roll, Chris continued. "In fact, we've got a lot of big changes for this season. One: the island is now one-hundred percent toxic waste free!"

"Well duh," Gwen scoffed. "You think any of us would've come back to this dump if it wasn't? What kind of crazy person would be on a show with actual toxic waste?"

"Umm…" Zoey, who was standing nearby, raised her hand.

"Oh…" Gwen looked embarrassed. "Sorry…"

Chris chuckles at this exchange. "Nice one Gwen! Maybe this will make you feel better, or at least less awkward: I've upgraded your accommodations." An intern walked over pushing a flat screen TV on wheels over to the host. "If you're on the losing team, you still have to sleep in the normal crummy cabins."

Using a remote to turn the TV on, Chris showed them all a picture of the same kind of cabin they were used to. This was followed by various complaints, groans, and other unnecessary sound effects from the teens. "But the winners," Chris pressed a button on the remote and the picture changed, "get to stay in the all new, Mclean Spa Hotel!" The TV now showed an image of an impressive looking two-story house you might find on the rich side of town.

"…complete with butler, hot tub, and twenty four hour masseuse!"

The contestants angry glares and frowns were flipped over and became smiles and happy exclamations. They actually cheered for once. What is that, the only time?

Chris allowed the cheering to continue and die down on its own, as he mistakenly believed it was for him. "Now, this is Total Drama All-Stars so I tried to find the fourteen best contestants this show has ever seen. Unfortunately those guys were busy so I got stuck with you lot instead." He laughed at his own joke, but heard only crickets from the teens who glared at him in disdain. "Anyway, to make your all-star status more fun, I've decided to break you up into two teams based off your prior performance: heroes and villains." Many of the contestants looked surprised to hear this, one of them smirked.

 _*Confessional*_

Heather: Obviously I'll be on the villain's team, and I'll be running it by lunch!

Gwen: Heroes versus villains? Guess Duncan and I won't be on the same team. Unless Chris considers Duncan a hero (she laughs). Yeah right.

Sierra: Oh this is so perfect! Cody and I will be on the same team for sure! We'll be heroes together, yay!

Brick: I hope I make it on the heroes team. I know I made some mistakes last season, but I've tried to make up for it since them. I've done extra push-ups in gym, I helped old ladies cross the street, I even gave money to charity!

 _*End Confessional*_

"So," Chris spoke. "Duncan, Jo, Lightning, Courtney, Scott, Sierra, and Alejandro, from now on, you're the Villainous Vipers!" An image of a snake appeared in a circle with a red background.

"Mike, Zoey, Cody, Gwen, Brick, Dawn, and Heather, you are the Heroic Hedgehogs!" An image of a hedgehog appeared in a circle against a blue background.

Several loud cries of surprise went up from members of both teams. Sierra was the loudest. "WHAT-WHAT-WHAT?!" she slammed her hands over her ears and shook her head vigorously, as if attempting to wake up from a dream. When it failed to do anything, she ran over to the host and began shaking him violently. "Why am I a villain? I'm nice! I do nice things!"

"You're kidding right?" Chris smirked. "You spent season three stalking Cody, stealing his stuff, violating his personal space and asking him uncomfortable questions. You barely spoke to anyone else, and most of the time it was you telling them to stay away from Cody. Heck, you even made a deal with Gwen that you'd vote with her if she promised to, and I quote," he made quotation signs with his fingers, " 'stop being so nice to Cody' end-quote."

Hearing this, Cody crossed his arms and glared at the super-fan. Sweat started dripping down her face. "W-Well yeah, but we were friends at the end! Best friends! And I helped him so many times! Like, remember that time I rescued him from wild monkeys?"

"He only needed rescuing after you drugged him and carried him around on your back!"

"Oh…" Sierra blushed awkwardly. She racked her brain for a few seconds, but when no obvious solutions came to her she flung herself down at Chris' feet and started sobbing. "Please Chris! Please! I have to be on the same team as Cody! I have to!"

"Chef," Chris snapped his fingers and the large man appeared and dragged Sierra off him. "Sorry, but the answer's no."

 _*Confessional*_

Cody: Am I surprised Sierra is on the villain's team? Not really. I did make friends with her in the last few episodes of World Tour, but that was mostly because of how much she was willing to give up for me. I appreciate everything she did for me of course, but after the season was over she kept trying to take us from friends to something more, and it really put a strain on our friendship.

 _*End Confessional*_

"What about me?" Courtney demanded. "Why am I a villain? I'm a nice person, I help people, I'm a CIT! I should be on the heroes team!"

"Have you forgotten about your actions during TDA?" Chris asked her. Courtney froze and had the decency to look ashamed. "You weren't much better in the second half of World Tour. Throwing challenges, screaming at everyone, helping Alejandro…"

"That wasn't my fault!" Courtney interrupted. "I was distraught after Duncan cheated on me with that hussy Gwen! I wasn't in my right mind when Alejandro manipulated me! It's not fair."

"Yeah…" Chris admitted. "But even after you were eliminated and learned that he was nothing more than a two-faced liar that never cared about you at all-"

"Hey!" Alejandro called out angrily.

Chris ignored him. "Even after learning that, you were still his most vocal supporter and wanted him to win over Cody and Heather, neither of whom had hurt you. So yeah…you're a villain." Courtney opened her mouth to argue, but the host cut her off. "That's my decision Courtney! It stands!"

 _*Confessional*_

Gwen: I feel kinda bad for Courtney. I know a lot of what happened last season was partially my fault for kissing Duncan when he was still her boyfriend. I hope my actions didn't drive her to the villains' team. That would be horrible!

 _*End Confessional*_

"But surely," Heather spoke up, drawing attention over to herself. "There's been a mistake with my placement, right?" She looked ready to laugh at the very idea. "I mean, I can't be a hero! I'm the _original_ Total Drama villain! I'm no good guy!"

"Yeah…" Chris chuckled to himself. "You'd think so right? And yet, you spent World Tour as an anti-villain more than anything. Then in the last episode, you stood up to Alejandro and became more of an anti-hero."

"Yeah Heather," Cody spoke up. "Don't you remember me saying you were the good guy back then?"

"Well yeah," Heather shrugged. "But I didn't take you seriously. Plus, what about me…kissing…Alejandro?" she struggled to get the words out.

"He was going to win, so you tricked him to lower his guard, then kicked him in the kiwis and tossed him off the volcano so you could win," Chris said. "Sounds like a good reason to kiss him to me."

"What?" Courtney complained while folding her arms. "Heather gets to be a hero, but I don't? How is that fair?"

Chris' eyes narrowed. "Zip it Courtney, or I'll make Chef find you a muzzle!" The CIT glared at him, but she did so silently. "Anyone else have any complains?" The other contestants all shook their heads. "Good."

"Can we hurry this up?" Lightning asked impatiently. "Lightning does not care what team he is on, he just wants to win!"

"Ha!" Jo gave a mocking laugh. "You think you'd care, considering how badly your team lost last season."

Lightning balled up his fists and turned to glare at the jockette. "You were on Lightning's team too Jo! You creepy man-woman!"

 _*Confessional*_

Lightning: What'd you call those people that are both guys and girls? Men-shes? No that's not right. Well whatever it is, Jo must be one of them! I can't believe she tricked me last season into thinking she was a dude! This season she's going down!

 _*End Confessional*_

"Enough arguing," Chris interrupted. "Onto the challenge. This season's challenges are all nods to classics from the past. But they each have a harsh new twist to make this the toughest Total Drama season ever! Your first challenge? Find the key to the spa hotel. You'll do it in an homage to Total Drama's first ever challenge: cliff-diving into water filled with ravenous sharks!"

Scott gulped.

 _*Confessional*_

Scott (huddled in the fetal position): Okay, so maybe I have a phobia of s-s-sharks. Can you blame me?

Courtney: Oh no, not that challenge. I almost got eliminated by my team after I refused to jump and Chris called me a chicken!

 _*End Confessional*_

"Once you dive into the water, try to avoid the sharks long enough to grab a key hidden somewhere on the lake floor. And remember: choose wisely, only one of those suckers is the real deal. Assuming you live long enough to reach dry land, one of your teammates will drive you to the hotel in one of the baby carriages from season three's 'race through central park' challenge."

An intern drives onto the sand in a beige jeep. Chris walks over to it as he talks and hops on. "The first team to unlock the spa door, wins and gets the luxury of spending the night inside. Meanwhile, someone from team loser will be going home tonight. Meet me at the base of the cliff in fifteen minutes. Chop-chop." He sits down beside the intern who drives the jeep away.

"Wait!" Mike called out. "Shouldn't we change into our swimsuits first?"

"Go ahead!" Chris yelled back. "Doesn't make a difference to me!"

* * *

 **A/N: The challenge is on the second chapter. Since Chris explains the team changes for himself, I thought I'd give a brief explanation as to why I added/subtracted certain characters into the season.**

 **Cody replaced Sam. I love Sam, but he's not much of a hero, and what's worse, the actual season just used him as a punching bag. Cody meanwhile is much more of a hero and made it to the final 3 of World Tour.**

 **Brick replaced Cameron. Wanting to keep to the original 14 players I didn't have a lot of choices here. Brick is easily the most deserving guy from ROTI to be on the hero team. I had to choose between getting rid of Cameron or Mike, and Cameron had already won a season and seemed less likely to want to return than Mike.**

 **Dawn replaced Lindsay. Whether Lindsay would be a good hero or not is debatable, however the original season used as nothing more than cannon fodder. The hero team needed another girl from ROTI, and Dawn seemed the best choice despite her early elimination.**

 **Next chapter should be up soon, but feel free to leave me a review. They are appreciated.**


	2. Episode 1 part 2

**A/N: Here's the 2nd half of Episode 1. Thanks for the reviews so far.**

 **Heroes vs Villains**

 **Episode 1: Part 2**

Five minutes later the fourteen teens had changed into their swimsuits (the same ones seen in previous seasons) and were starting their walk through the forest leading to the cliff. The heroes were up ahead walking together, and they all seemed to be in good spirits.

"I can't believe we get to be on the hero team!" Zoey gasped excitedly. "Isn't this the best?"

Cody, Dawn and Brick all nodded excitedly. "It's a relief to know I'm counted among the good guys; a valiant soldier," Brick said.

"Of course you are Brick," Dawn said gently placing her hand on his arm. "Your aura has been golden yellow since day one. Don't ever doubt it."

"I-I'm not entirely sure how aura works," the soldier admitted. "But thanks Dawn."

Mike wrapped one of his arms over Zoey's shoulder, giving her a backwards hug. "I'm just glad we're on the same team again. It would've been unbearably lonely being on opposite sides."

The redhead nodded. "It would've been torture trying to be a couple on opposite-" she then noticed Gwen was staring at her. "-oops. Sorry Gwen! I'm sure you and Duncan will be fine!"

The Goth rolled her eyes. "It's fine. I'm just concerned that ONE of us," she raised her voice. Heather was walking in front of her, and Gwen glared viciously at the back of her head as she spoke. "…does not belong here. You know, on the hero team."

Heather turned around and crossed her arms. "Oh shut up, Goth-girl. You know I didn't ask to be put on this team so just get over it."

"Get over it?" Gwen scoffed. "Haven't you realized you're the one person that doesn't belong in this group? Chris probably just put you here to torture the rest of us."

"Hey Gwen, wait!" Cody interjected. "That's not fair. Heather was a lot better last season. She was almost nice to me. Plus she stood up to Alejandro in the finale."

"Yeah, after she tricked you into getting eliminated so she'd have him to face!" Hearing this, Cody cringed. He had no argument against that. "Face it Cody, she's a terrible person, not a hero."

Heather mock-laughed, sounding bitter. "You don't have to tell me I don't belong Gwen. I get it." She turned around so she didn't have to face Gwen.

"Come on Gwen," Cody pleaded with the girl he had crushed on for so long. "I bet if you give her a chance…"

But his words were stomped out at the sight of her angry glare. "I don't know why you bother with her, Cody." Turning away from him, Gwen walked past the others till she was leading the group, far past Heather.

A minute later Cody picked up his pace until he was walking even with Heather. "Don't worry about her, Heather. I think you belong on this team," he grinned up at her.

The queen bee rolled her eyes. "Whatever geek-face, I don't care what Goth-girl says or what team I'm on. I'm winning that million dollars either way."

 _*Confessional*_

Cody: Why am I being nice to Heather? She was pretty decent to me at the end of World Tour. I'd hate for her to get eliminated right away when she finally started acting…you know…nice.

Heather: I don't know why that loser Cody was sticking up for me. Him and that other geek Harold were the only ones who ever wanted to help me, but Gwen was right. I am a villain, and that's not going to change.

Gwen: I guess seeing Heather on the heroes team got me a little riled up. I don't see why she's here but Duncan isn't. Duncan isn't that bad, right? It doesn't even matter. First time we lose I guarantee she'll be the one sent home.

 _*End Confessional*_

Meanwhile, at the same time the heroes were getting acquainted, the villains were walking along in a stony silence. The only noise came from Sierra, who was sobbing loudly. "Cody!" she moaned. "Why?"

Jo groaned. "Will you shut up already? Your crying is giving me a headache!"

"Try to show some sympathy Jo," Alejandro said, faking affection for Sierra. "She just misses the one she loves, that is all."

"Speaking of loved ones," Duncan spoke up. "Heather still sounded pretty cold to you earlier, pal. Guess you two haven't made up huh?"

Alejandro bristled slightly, but quickly recovered. "This is merely one of the games Heather and I play, do not over-think it Duncan. I will have her affections again quite soon."

"Uh huh, whatever helps you sleep at night."

 _*Confessional*_

Alejandro: *curses in Spanish* Duncan has a point. How dare that little minx give me the cold shoulder? She should be the one begging for my forgiveness! And if she thinks she can hide on the hero team, she is mistaken.

Sierra: C-C-Cody! *sobs loudly into her hands*

 _*End Confessional*_

As they walked along, Scott approached Courtney. He noticed her shooting daggers at someone on the heroes team. "Who are you glaring at?" he asked.

"Huh What?" Courtney hadn't noticed the redneck standing beside her until just then. The sight of him (despite being fully healed) made her slightly uncomfortable. "Oh…Gwen. I can't stand her." Her balled up fists shook.

"Well I'm glaring at Mike and Zoey," Scott told her in a conversational tone before suddenly glaring violently at the couple. "I hate them. A lot."

Courtney raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you that guy that caused his team to lose last season by throwing challenges?"

Scott nodded. "That was me. So any chance you'd want to team up-"

"I don't think so," Courtney scoffed. "I watched you last season and I'm definitely not interested."

"Yeah, and I saw you in season three," Scott shot back. "Don't get so high and mighty, princess. We're all villains here."

Courtney suddenly shoved her left foot in front of Scott's path and the redneck tripped. He fell forward face first onto the ground. "Don't ever call me that," the CIT seethed before walking off.

 _*Confessional*_

Scott: Eh that could'a gone better, but still. I've watched the other seasons on pap's black and white TV, and I know Courtney is weak. Give it a few episodes and she'll be working for me. *he cackles*

 _*End Confessional*_

Ten minutes later the fourteen contestants reached the beach near the cliff where Chris was waiting. The only other thing on the beach were two baby carriages sitting several feet apart. "Greetings All-Stars! Here are your carriages," he pointed to the wheeled vehicles on either side of him. "Blood red for the Villainous Vipers and ocean blue for the Heroic Hedgehogs. You've got thirty seconds to pick your carriage drivers. Starting…now!"

The heroes gathered together and tried to decide who should drive. "Do you want to drive?" Zoey asked Mike.

He shrugged. "You could do it."

"I probably shouldn't do it," Cody glanced at his thin arms and sighed. Dawn nodded.

Brick raised his hand tentatively. "I wouldn't mind doing it."

Gwen opened her mouth to speak but Heather cut her off. "Stop wasting time! Let's just let muscles do it," she shoved Brick forward toward their team's carriage.

Yeah, Brick can do it," Zoey agreed. "Great idea Heather!"

On the other side the villains were also trying to decide who the driver would be, only their debate was more "heated".

"I want to do it!" Scott declared, grabbing the carriage by the handle. "I don't want to go anywhere near that shark-infested water!"

"Shark infested?" Courtney gulped. "I'll volunteer!"

"I got this!" Lightning pushed Scott out of the way.

"No it's mine!" Jo shoved Lightning to the side. "I won the carriage racing championship last year after all.

Lightning glared at the jockette. "There's no cart-racing championship! How dumb do you think Lightning is?"

 _*Confessional*_

Jo: Darn, I really thought he would've fallen for that…

Lightning: Stupid Jo, doesn't she know I watch the finals of every championship for every sport? Even tennis!

 _*End Confessional*_

Jo quickly kicked Lightning in the kiwis. When the big male went down, she took the cart and walked it confidently over to Chris. "Well you might've called my bluff jockstrap, but I don't mind playing dirty," she laughed.

"Okay," Chris said now that time was up. "Everybody but Jo and Brick, up the cliff you go!"

The teens then began the long climb up the face of the cliff. It was a strangely familiar experience for Gwen, Heather, Courtney, Cody and Duncan, but new to everyone else. Familiar or not, it was very exhausting. By the time all twelve of them reached the top, everyone was sweating and breathing heavy, with the exception of Lightning and Alejandro.

"Whoo-hoo!" Lightning stuck his index fingers in the air and cheered. "First place!"

"That…was…exhausting…" Cody spoke in between gasps of breath.

Scott, Duncan and Mike meanwhile, looked down the face of the cliff where three large sharks could be seen swimming beneath. "Where is he?" Scott's eyes darted back and forth over the water. "I don't see him. Where is he?" He stood up, ran over to Chris and began shaking the host. "WHERE'S Fang?!"

"Dude, calm down," Chris pushed him off. "Didn't you hear me when I explained the rules? All the toxic waste was taken off the island. Fang is gone."

Scott gasped and fell to the ground in relieved shock. Zoey walked over. "Really? Did they manage to revert him back to normal?"

Chris barked out a laugh. "What, and waste valuable money on one shark? Yeah right, that freak is sushi." He then remembered he was on TV. "Oh right, the viewers. I mean, yes Zoey, they fixed Fang and now he is living a happy life in the ocean." He forced a smile. It looked very unnatural.

"Right…" The redhead took a few steps back.

"Anyway," he clapped his hands together. "Places people! It's diving time!" he laughed. "One diver per team at a time. The next diver has to wait 'til their team's carriage returns to the beach. Ready…set…" he pushed the button on his air-horn which let off a loud ringing noise. "Go!"

Lightning ran right for the cliff edge without a moment's hesitation. The thought of how dangerous it was to jump off a cliff into shark-infested water never crossed his mind for a second. "Time to win this thing!" he leaped off the cliff and dived into the water below. "Lightning strikes!" he called out on the way down.

"Hey," Courtney objected. "We hadn't decided who would go, or in what order!"

"Oh don't get your panties in a bunch," Duncan rolled his eyes. "No one cares."

"I-I guess I'll go first," Zoey approached the ledge.

"You got this Zoey!" Mike called out.

"Good luck!" Cody added.

Zoey nodded, and leapt in after Lightning. When the jock hit the water, he managed to punch one of the sharks right in the nose, causing all the others to swim away. Zoey landed a few seconds later. Luckily the sharks had all swam off thanks to Lightning. The two teens dived down and pulled the first key they found from the sand. Then they swam back to shore.

Lightning got there faster and immediately jumped into his team's carriage. "Let's go, Jo!"

"Ugh," she rolled her eyes. "You again."

Just then Zoey ran up. "Hi Brick!" she climbed into the heroes carriage.

"Zoey," Brick smiled. "Glad you made it out okay."

Annoyed at having lost her advantage, Jo pushed her carriage forward suddenly, causing Lightning to be shoved forward and almost slip out. She was determined to get there first and started running as fast as she could. However, to her dismay, Brick (with Zoey in tow) caught up a few seconds later.

Jo growled angrily at him. "Stay out of my way, Brick-for-brains!" she slammed her carriage up against his. The hero carriage tipped over a little and Zoey let out a "whoa!", but managed to stay upright. "I'm winning this!"

Brick considered trying to race her, to push past her, maybe even shoving her back. In the end, he did none of these things. Instead, he began to slow down. "Whatever you say, Jo."

The girl in grey sweatpants turned her head back to watch her rival's carriage decrease in speed. She laughed triumphantly and was about to call out a satisfying insult when Lightning interrupted her. "Jo! Stop!" Jo turned her head back around so she could see what was in front of her, but it was too late. The carriage was two feet from the Mclean spa and she couldn't slow down.

Jo and Lightning crashed into the house with a satisfying slam. Lightning was thrown out of the carriage and Jo hit the ground. They lay where they fell, dazed and confused. Five seconds later, Brick ran by pushing Zoey. The redhead hopped out and hurried over to the door. She stuck her key inside but found it didn't fit.

"No good," she told Brick. He held the carriage out for her and she got back inside.

"See you later Jo!" The boy called out as he drove Zoey back. Jo and Lightning forced themselves back onto their feet. Lightning tried the key but it didn't fit so Jo ordered him back in the carriage. They were both dazed and bruised as they hurried back.

 _*Confessional*_

Brick: It's too bad about Jo, I thought we could've been friends once, but she got under my skin one too many times. At least now I know it's not worth competing with her.

 _*End Confessional*_

Zoey was the first to get back to the beach a few minutes later. Once she got out of the carriage it was fair game for another hero to attempt the challenge. "Alright," Mike took a deep breath and exhaled. "My turn." All of a sudden Mike's eyes widened, his eyelashes grew and makeup appeared on his face. "Svetlana will handle this!" he spoke in a high-pitched female voice with a noticeable accent. He then did a somersault and leapt over the cliff into a dive.

Gwen, who was standing nearby, turned to Cody. "That was even weirder than it looked on TV." The geek nodded.

Just then Lightning appeared, running as fast as he could. This time he was tired and sweating. "Go go go!" he called out to his team as he reached the top.

"You want to go, Scott?" Duncan asked. He then turned around and spotted the ginger wrapped around a large rock. He was clinging to it as if his life depended on it. "What the heck man? Chris said Fang isn't even in there. Granted Chris is a notorious liar, but still…"

"N-No way," Scott shook his head. His teeth were chattering like crazy. "D-Doesn't matter. "S-Still s-scared of s-sharks."

The punk rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'm going in then." He ran over to the edge and leapt off in the cannonball position. "Whoo-hoo!"

He hit the water with a splash and opened his eyes underwater. Mike, or more accurately Svetlana, had gracefully avoided the sharks, retrieved a key from the lake floor, and was now swimming to shore.

Duncan nearly lost the air he was holding in his mouth when one of the sharks swam toward him, a hungry look on its face. The punk swam over to the cliff wall and waited until just before the shark pounced. He swam out of the way and the shark hit the wall instead. Duncan then kicked it hard from behind and swam out of there.

Up on shore, Svetlana landed gracefully in the hero carriage and Brick began to push her toward the spa. A few seconds later Duncan came out of the lake sputtering for breath with a key in one hand and ran up to an angry (and injured) Jo.

"Come on already! They're ahead of us!"

"Calm down," Duncan climbed in. "We're not gonna lose to a group of nice guys." He paused. "And my girlfriend. Didn't think that one through…"

"Ha!" Jo barked out a laugh. "Listen short-pants, I'm in charge on this team. Get in my way and I'll make your life a walking nightmare."

This seemed to amuse Duncan more than bother him. "Trust me, I don't want to be in charge, but feel free to knock yourself out trying."

"Really?" Jo raised an eyebrow. A few seconds later they reached the spa. Svetlana had just tried her/his own key and found it didn't fit. Brick was just preparing to start pushing her back.

Duncan jumped out and tried the key. "No good, it's a dud." He tossed it.

"Way to pick the wrong key, Dud-kin," Jo mocked him.

"Wow…" The boy paused. "That was terrible."

"What? No it wasn't!"

 _*Confessional*_

Jo: Nobody on this show appreciates my killer zingers. I'm wasted on these ingrates.

 _*End Confessional*_

"Who's up next?" Heather asked as Mike returned.

Cody gulped. "I-I'll go." He approached the edge slowly before peering down into the water.

Heather ran out of patience as Duncan made his way back. "Just jump already Cody!"

"Jump Courtney!" The punk called out.

The CIT hesitated. She looked even more hesitant to jump than Cody. At least the nerd had done it before, unlike Courtney. "I-I think Sierra should go instead of me. Wouldn't she rather jump with Cody?"

The members of the villains team turned to look at the stalker. She was currently sitting on the ground next to Scott in the fetal position looking positively miserable. At the mention of Cody's name she began to sob again.

"Just do it Courtney!"

"Perhaps I should jump instead?" Alejandro suggested. Ironically it was this suggestion and the Spaniard's fake concern that filled Courtney with defiance.

"…fine," she pulled her hand free from Alejandro's. She approached the ledge, closed her eyes, and jumped right after Cody. She screamed all the way to the bottom but landed safely enough with a splash.

The CIT spotted Cody swimming as fast as he could with a terrified look on his face as two sharks chased after him. Immediately after, a third shark swam after her. Some of the air she had been holding in escaped from her mouth in bubbles as she swam for her life.

Courtney managed to ditch the shark by hiding behind a large rock embedded on the lake floor. She was running out of air but dug around in the sand until she spotted a key glittering in the sand. With no air left she swam up to the surface to breathe. Unfortunately, another shark had spotted her legs keeping her afloat underwater.

"Ahhh!" the CIT screamed at the sight of the shark fin sticking out of the water. She dived back down and swam for shore. The shark was right behind her, taking large bites that only just missed her. Finally, she was almost out of the water and could stand instead of swim when the shark took one last bite.

It failed to get any of her flesh, but it did manage to take off the back of her top. As she walked onto the shore her swimsuit top fell off and onto her feet as her chest was exposed to Jo and Brick who were waiting with their carriages.

"NO!" The CIT cried out in embarrassment as she dropped down, picked her top up and used it to cover herself. However the damage was done. When she looked back up she saw Jo roaring with laughter. Brick however, had a massive nosebleed, and his face was white as chalk. He was looking everywhere but at Courtney, making it incredibly obvious he had just seen her chest.

Just then, Cody reached the shore and got out of the water. "I got the key!" he told Brick as he tried to pull himself into the carriage. He slipped however, and Brick had to help him up. The soldier then took off at a jumbled pace.

"Come on already!" Jo yelled at Courtney, who was hobbling forward one-handed with her face beet-red. Once she was in Jo raced off, but Brick fumbled behind. So surprised by what he had seen he could only stare dumbly forward until Cody broke him out of it.

 _*Confessional*_

Jo: That was hilarious!

Courtney: That…was the most embarrassing moment of my life! What's worse is a GUY saw me! Ughh *she hides her head in her hands* At least it wasn't Duncan or Chris…

Brick: *stares blankly ahead* …

 _*End Confessional*_

This time Jo made it to the spa first and Courtney shoved her key into the lock. "I-It's no good!"

The jockette kicked the carriage angrily. "How can none of you find the right key? I knew I should've been one of the divers…"

The boys showed up as the girls were leaving. Brick had a good deal of stamina from all the drills he'd endured at military school, but even so, this pace was starting to wear on him. Cody fell out of the carriage and tested the key in the lock. He turned disappointed to his teammate and shook his head. "It's too big, it won't fit."

A few minutes later Courtney had changed back into her normal clothes and her team could continue. "This time, I volunteer to dive for our team," Alejandro said smoothly.

"Yeah, you're a real saint," Duncan rolled his eyes.

"Guess it's time to prove myself to the team," Heather muttered to herself. "Alright, I'm diving. Move out of the way."

 _*Confessional*_

Heather: I'm not stupid, I know that if I screw this up and Alejandro finds the key, I'll be the one going home. But I also know that I'm the only one that has any chance of stopping him. Maybe if I distract him long enough it'll stop him from 'magically' finding the right key.

Alejandro: Heather thinks she can compete with me? Cute, but I have just as much dominion over the sea as I do over the land.

 _*End Confessional*_

Alejandro and Heather both jumped off at the same time. "Al" made a perfect swan dive and landed with barely a splash. As soon as his head shot out of the water and his perfect hair flew around magically, all of the sharks swarmed around him-but instead of trying to eat him, they lifted him up and carried him on their backs.

Heather watched in amazement as Alejandro rose up out of the water and stood on the backs of several sharks. After a moment another shark appeared and presented the teen with a selection of five different keys. He was just deciding which to pick when Heather called out to him. "Hey Aquaman! Stop showing off!"

"Grrr!" he turned back and growled angrily. His hand swiped the pile of keys and took one at random. The others fell back into the sea. Heather swam down and grabbed one before heading for shore. The queen bee was a decent swimmer, but it didn't matter. Alejandro's new 'friends' got him to land much faster.

After blowing them a kiss goodbye, he ran over to a dumbstruck Jo who had just watched him climb off the backs of sharks. "What the…how did you…?"

"No time," he told her as he got in. "Take me to the spa please, so we can finish this silly game!"

Jo looked cross, but pushed the carriage anyway. "Don't even think about giving me orders, pretty-boy!"

When Heather got out of the lake she crammed herself into her team's carriage. "Let's go military geek! We can't let Ale-jerk-dro win!"

But Brick had already started moving. "Yes ma'am!" he saluted her with one hand while the other pushed. "I won't let my platoon down!" Heather grinned, she appreciated this kind of response to her bossiness.

"They're catching up!" Alejandro said glancing back at the approaching Brick and Heather.

"I'm going as fast as I can!"

"Never mind mamacita," Alejandro stood up in the carriage. "Heather is no threat. I'll finish this." He then leapt out of the moving carriage, did several somersaults in midair before landing on both feet in front of the spa.

 _*Confessional*_

Jo: What the-? How did he even do that? I'm supposed to be the athletic one!"

Alejandro: My second cousin is an Olympic gymnast.

 _*End Confessional*_

"No!" Alejandro called out dramatically when his key didn't fit the lock.

"Yes!" Heather cheered as she got out of the hero's carriage. "My turn," she pushed him aside. She inserted her key into the lock, but it also didn't fit. "Aww crap!" She tossed the key into the forest and stomped her feet. "Stupid key!"

The two raced back to the others. Alejandro got back first, but his team had a conundrum. Who should dive next? Neither Sierra nor Scott were volunteering to go. "Alright Sierra, your turn to dive," Alejandro decided.

She ignored him.

Duncan approached the super fan. She was still sitting on the ground so his shadow loomed over her. "Come on already! We don't have time for this!" But she didn't budge.

Just then Heather returned. "Here goes nothing, I guess," Gwen said before she jumped off the ledge and plummeted several stories down.

"Move already! Lightning wants to win!" The athlete yelled at Sierra.

But when she still refused to budge, Chris' voice reverberated through his megaphone. "If you don't do the challenge Sierra, you'll be instantly eliminated."

"Oh fine," the purple-haired girl stood up. "I-I'll go." She approached the edge slowly, taking her time before diving.

 _*Confessional*_

Sierra: I have to be on Cody's team, I just have to! So I came up with a plan: I'm going to go so slow that the other team can't possibly lose. Then I'll have helped the heroes win and stopped the villains. Chris will see that and let me join the heroes team to be with my Cody-Wody! It's the perfect plan! *her eye twitches nervously*

 _*End Confessional*_

"What is she doing?" Duncan groaned. "She's been down in the lake for ten minutes now!"

"M-Maybe one of the sharks ate her," Scott suggested from his hiding place.

Alejandro cursed in Spanish. "Gwen is already back!"

The villains turned to see that Gwen was in fact, already returning. Her key had not worked either and now the last member of her team could dive. Meanwhile Sierra was still stuck in the lake.

"I'm ready now," Dawn said when Gwen gave her the thumbs-up. Calmly she jumped off the cliff and into the water below. A frenzy of sharks swam toward her, but the nature girl was not afraid. She used her aura to soothe and calm them all, one at a time. Once they were docile, she swam down to the lakebed and retrieved a key.

Once she got to shore she saw Jo practically dragging Sierra out of the water. The fan-girl had gone completely limp and seemed to be making every effort to make it harder on Jo. "Greetings Brick," she said once she was safely inside the carriage.

"Hello again Dawn." Brick grabbed the handles and started heading for the spa once again. He had mostly recovered from his "Courtney incident", though his face was still somewhat pale. Dawn noticed something was off.

"Has something happened?" she asked. "Your aura seems slightly misaligned."

"Uhh no," he turned his head to the side. "Everything is fine."

They arrived at the spa soon after. Dawn climbed out and calmly walked over to the door. She stuck her key in and turned the lock. When she heard a click, she knew it had been the right one. The door swung open.

"Dawn's done it! The door is open!" Chris declared, flying through the air on a jetpack. "The Heroic Hedgehogs win!"

"Whoo hoo! Yeah!" The heroes up on the cliff cheered. Mike, Zoey, and Cody were all cheering loudly. Even Gwen and Heather looked excited.

The villains team on the other hand, groaned in defeat. They all looked either disappointed or mad, with the one exception of Sierra.

 _*Confessional*_

Sierra: Yes! My plan worked perfectly! Hero team, here I come!

 _*End Confessional*_

* * *

Later that night after the sun had gone down, the Villainous Vipers had gathered around the fire-pit for the elimination ceremony. They were all seated on one of the many tree stumps used as seats. Chris was also there, and so were the heroes, who stood off to the side.

"Welcome to our first elimination ceremony of the season," Chris started. "Heroic Hedgehogs, you're probably wondering why you're here." Sierra giggled excitedly from her seat. "Apart from watching one of the Vipers get eliminated, you're here to listen to an announcement I need to make. Then you can head over to the spa hotel for a deluxe dinner and massage."

"Yeah!" The heroes looked excitedly and some of them high-fived.

"Remember last season when I hid the Mclean-brand Chris head somewhere on the island, and whoever found it would get immunity during one elimination ceremony?" the host asked rhetorically. Scott looked around excitedly. "Well we're not doing that anymore. Not this season anyway."

"Aww…why not?" Scott asked.

Chris shrugged. "The producers didn't like it. It's a shame, I had this great idea where I'd hide it on Boney Island and the winning team would send one of their teammates there for the night to look for it. Heck, I'd send them over even after it had been found and used," he laughed. "Wouldn't that have been pointless?" Several of the contestants glared at the host. "But I guess the producers hated my idea so-no luck."

"Can we get on with the elimination ceremony now?" Courtney asked impatiently.

"Fine," Chris answered. "This season, you get to vote by placing an X on the photo of the person you want to eliminate. Now-get voting!"

 _*Voting Confessional*_

Duncan: You had this coming *he points at the camera*

Alejandro: We all have to go sometime…but your time is right now.

Courtney: *crosses an X on one of the photos* Thanks for making yourself a bigger target than me.

 _*End Voting Confessional*_

The voting was over and the villains were back in their seats. Chris stood in front of them holding a tray full of marshmallows. "Okay, the following people are safe: Duncan, Jo, Lightning, Alejandro, and Courtney." Each time he called out a name he tossed a marshmallow to that person.

Now there were only two people without a marshmallow. "That just leaves Sierra and Scott."

"Alright Chris, that's enough," Sierra chuckled. "Very funny waiting until now, but that's long enough. You can announce I'm switching teams now."

"You're…what?"

"I'm becoming a hero!" Sierra reminded him. "After I helped them win, right?" Chris stared blankly at her. "Right?!"

"There are no team switches Sierra. Sit down." The stalker looked horrified as she sat back on her stump. "Now Scott, you're on the chopping block because you were too afraid to jump. Sierra, you're on the chopping block because you went way too slow and cost your team the win."

"And the loser going home is…"

"…Sierra!" Chris tossed Scott the last marshmallow.

"NO!" Sierra screamed as she jumped to her feet. "I can't go home yet! Say it isn't so Chris!" She looked as if she was about to start crying again.

"It's so," the host smiled; thoroughly glad to be rid of her. "Now for this season's transportation off the island…"

"…it's the loser boat from season one!" Chris announced once they were all standing on the dock. "Yeah I guess it's not exciting, but at least it's not a giant toilet. Right?"

"Why…would it be a giant toilet? Is that a joke?" Zoey asked in disgust.

"Wouldn't that kill you?" Duncan wondered. "Wouldn't the loser drown?"

"Moving on!" Chris cut off any more questions. He'd save his 'brilliant' ideas for people who could appreciate them. Or Chef. "Time for Sierra to get on the boat. Chef?"

The large man picked up the screaming girl and escorted her onto the boat. "No! I can't leave without saying goodbye to Cody!"

Cody, who was also standing on the dock, called out. "Goodbye Sierra!" he waved politely.

Sierra relaxed slightly at the sight of the boy she stalked so thoroughly. "Goodbye Cody-kins! Sorry mama can't stay with you! Take care of yourself!" She continued to shout out other pieces of random advice as the boat pulled away from the dock and left the island.

"What crazy challenges will I force our All-Stars to endure next?" Chris asked rhetorically to the camera. "And who will be the next loser to walk the dock of shame? Find out right here on Total-Drama-All-Stars!"

* * *

 **Heroic Hedgehogs:** Cody, Gwen, Heather, Mike, Zoey, Brick, Dawn

 **Villainous Vipers:** Courtney, Alejandro, Jo, Duncan, Lightning, Scott

 _Eliminated:_ Sierra

* * *

 **A/N: And that was the first challenge. There were quite a few changes, some of which openly mocked the original, such as the giant toilet. What did you guys think of the first episode, and is there something you want to see/are looking forward to? Let me know, reviews are appreciated. I'm not sure when the next update will be, but it shouldn't be too long a wait. Until then!**


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